Family Meeting – Lesson 8
Each of you should bring these tracking sheets with your entries:
- Smart G.O.A.L.S. Setting
- Smart G.O.A.L.S. Tracking
- Contract for Change
Family meeting rules:
- Use an agenda.
- One person talks at a time.
- Everyone gets a chance to talk, if they want to.
- No one puts anyone down.
- Keep it short and sweet!
Each week, during your Learn & Earn Lessons, each family member is asked to share ideas. The Family Meeting is a time to review those ideas.
At every meeting:
- Compliments: Say something you like about each person
- Calendar: List activities or events each person has scheduled for the upcoming week
- Past Business: Discuss your SFP activities progress and rewards
- New Business: Discuss current SFP goals and practice skills
- Value Message: Share pro-social family beliefs
- Have Fun! Games and treats
Repeat This Week’s Power Phrase:
Setting goals helps us develop talents and find purpose in life. Practicing impulse control and using ‘Contracts for Change’ helps us achieve our goals.
Agenda Item #1: SMART goals
Review
The letters stand for “Specific, Measurable, Achievable-in-steps, Rewarding, and Time-specific.” This week you worked on setting SMART Goals for yourself, and tracking those goals. If you didn’t use the online form for setting goals and tracking your goals, there is a printable form you can use instead.
Directions
This week you worked on setting SMART Goals for yourself, and tracking those goals. If you didn’t have a chance to work on these, open or print them here.
Discuss with other family members: did you set some SMART goals? Were you able to make progress towards those goals? How are you measuring progress? What rewards are you giving yourself for reaching goals? Feel free to share goals and discuss them if this is comfortable for you.
Ideas Sheet:
Tracking Sheet:
Children's "Goals" Entries
Oops! We could not locate your form.
Agenda Item #2: Homework Routine
Review
This week you learned about the importance of healthy study habits for kids. A child’s primary “job” growing up is to get a good education and acquire attitudes and skills to contribute to society and become a thoughtful, responsible adult. Kids need to take their “job” of becoming well-educated seriously. Healthy eating, avoiding alcohol and drugs, and developing a good study routine are key to learning. Knowing your preferred learning style can help, too. Visual learners can take notes, make outlines, view or make drawings. Auditory learners can read material aloud, listen to audible books, watch video, or have someone read to them. Physically active kids can do jumping jacks, jump rope, or use other body movement while reciting facts to remember.
Directions
During this Family Meeting, have kids commit to creating good Homework Routines. We have a printable Homework Tracking planner for Homework, or they can use the online form which is found in the Family Activities list (here is a preview of the form, but these need to be filled out by kids when they are logged in, not adults.)
During this Family Meeting, have kids commit to creating good Homework Routines. If they did not bring their tracking sheets to the meeting, print a copy for them or show them the form and make sure they make a note in their notebook. These need to be filled out by your kids, not adults!
Youth Tracking Sheet:
Children's "Homework" Tracking Entries
Oops! We could not locate your form.
Agenda Item #3: Contract for Change
Review
This week, your family learned about recognizing anti-social behavior and how to change thoughts and practices to create pro-social behaviors using a Contract for Change. Each person has access to the Contract for Change tracking form in your Family Activities. This activity is used to help family members create new brain wiring, and thus new habits, by mindfully changing your thoughts and practicing new pro-social behaviors. This can help you become happier and achieve what is most important to you. Prepare for change by:
1) Choose one negative behavior to change.
2) Feel a personal motivation to change. (Establish rewards you care about; think how the behavior is harmful, has negative consequences, and violates your values.)
3) Set-up your environment for success. (Choose reminders; make it easy to do; make plans to stay away from negative influences and triggers.)
4) Do “Positive Practice” of the new behavior. (Practice using pretend situations until it’s easy to do.)
5) Set a specific time to report progress. (Weekly Pleasant Personal Conference.)
6) Make it socially rewarding. (Ask family and friends to look for and compliment your efforts of new good behavior.)
Parents learned more about when and how to use the Contract for Change (with their kids, and for themselves) and how to have Pleasant Personal Conferences. Encourage each other to practice these skills! Keep in mind that we ALL have behaviors we might want to change, and we can help each other by respectful listening, sharing ideas, and working on changing our thoughts and practices. Here is an example of a youth contract for change entry:
Negative Behavior: Stop “clamming up” in tough conversations. Instead, I need to listen and have an open mind, and stop being defensive.
Why Change: This is leading to conflicts with my parents. I realize refusing to talk about issues is anti-social. And the more I can communicate why I am behaving the way I am, the more my parents can help me.
Positive Behavior: I can try to explain how I feel using assertive statements, avoiding C-Boulders, and I-Statements and explain the pressure I am under with school and friends.
Reminders: When I am talking to my parents, I will take a deep breath, remind myself they are trying to HELP, and then try to explain my thoughts.
Rewards: I want my parents to trust me, and so I need to be more open with them about why I say and do things that they do not agree with. I think once we have better communication, I will gain their trust, and this will help me be more open.
Directions
As a family, discuss this process. What sorts of Contracts for Change are private (just for me!) and what should be shared to get assistance from others in the family? What are your concerns? How can we bring up (tactfully, and kindly) things we would like to see changed in other family members? (Think of what you have learned about I-Messages, assertive behavior, throwing C-Boulders.)
Family Contract:
BONUS ACTIVITIES
- Budgeting, and tracking spending: Making and living by a budget can help you stretch your money further, save for the things you really want, and give you peace of mind. Help children learn the skill of budgeting by planning and tracking what they earn and spend. As they grow older, let them help plan and track family household spending so they get used to living by a budget.
- Using a Time Management System: Keeping track of your time with a time management system can help family members avoid procrastination. Break large tasks or projects into the smaller steps needed, schedule important events and due dates, and strive for balance in your activities.